This a large number for such an infrequently discussed phenomenon! If you ask most people what OCD is, their answers will likely involve a preoccupation with order , being excessively neat, or washing your hands. Others mistakenly interpret it as an early part of the coming out process. HOCD has been around for a long time and, to those in the know, is an established and well-understood sub-type of OCD.
Note: HOCD can affect people of any sexual orientation. The core symptoms of HOCD are intrusive thoughts about being gay. These can lead to any of the following:. Compulsions in HOCD run the gamut from the unnoticeable and subtle all the way to the life-altering.
People with HOCD feel a strong temptation to eliminate uncertainty about whether they are straight or gay.
Paradoxically, the healthiest thing we can do in these situations is… nothing. The more someone with HOCD seeks certainty, the more they weaken their innate ability to tolerate uncertainty. We all have the ability to tolerate uncertainty. So why are obsessive thoughts so hard to tolerate? That temptation makes the HOCD thought hard to tolerate. However, the more you work it into your diet, the more you can tolerate it. You might even come to enjoy it! Similarly, if someone with HOCD has never tried anxiety tolerance as a means of coping, it will be difficult at first.
It may feel pointless, painful, and unproductive. Over time, however, with continued effort, it will feel easier and more natural.
There are two options for those who would like to improve their HOCD symptoms. You can work with a professional or try to make changes on your own. Several strategies are listed below that have been helpful for many suffering from HOCD. One challenge in implementing them is that the obsessive thoughts are hard to shake, and feel very convincing. The answer involves fear, repetition, and the power of mental habits. People with HOCD focus excessively on their reaction to men vs.
The fearful intensity of that focus makes it impossible to distinguish between real desire and fear of real desire. Similar phenomena happen in other anxiety disorders — for example, people who suffer from panic disorder also become very focused on a feared internal experience.
When this inability to discern real sexual preferences repeatedly meets with fear and pessimism, there are consequences. Instead of feeling horrified that they might have been wrong about being straight, they start to feel horrified that they are certainly wrong about being straight.
This is sometimes referred to as overvalued ideation. This is a difficult problem to address, but two strategies can be helpful: mindfulness and creating uncertainty. From the mindfulness perspective, no thoughts are real , regardless of how they feel.
They are all temporary experiences without any inherent substance or profound meaning. Mindfulness practice helps us maintain a healthy relationship with thoughts and emotions.
It helps us remember that even beliefs we take for granted — e. They may be factually based and accurate, but are still just beliefs.
This is a useful perspective for someone with HOCD to have as they cope with thoughts and beliefs around their sexual orientation. This is ideally used in the context of exposure and response prevention therapy, with the assistance of a trained therapist, but is presented here in the hopes that it might be useful to others.
Typically in OCD treatment, the emphasis is on learning to tolerate uncertainty. A therapist using the Lloyd Christmas technique helps an HOCD patient who is quite convinced that he or she is gay to create some doubt about their sexual orientation.
You can try this on your own by briefly contemplating any of the following:. Granted, none of the above factors prove that someone is straight or gay. Their job is to create some doubt! If one overindulges in it, it becomes simply a form of reassurance and can become compulsive. The key with the Lloyd Christmas technique is to only use it as long as needed to create some doubt, and then to stop. Understandably, the most common impulse of someone with HOCD is to try to get rid of the obsessive thoughts.
In many ways, this impulse is the root of the problem. The more we try not to think about something specific, the more it tends to crop up in our minds. The effect of the phenomenon is clear for those suffering from intrusive thoughts about sexual orientation or any other common obsessive topic. The more we try to get rid of an undesirable thought, the more it will come up!
The lesson is clear: abandon efforts to get rid of the thoughts. When an intrusive thought strikes, be ready. The following four-step technique will help you practice precisely the skills necessary to reduce your HOCD symptoms. Time needed: 1 minute. Acknowledge to yourself the possibility that you may be gay. Allow the question to remain unanswered.
Then try to use the 4-step ERP technique. Graves Disease. Hair Loss. Healthy Eating. Healthy Sex. Heart Attack. Heart Disease. Hepatitis C. High Cholesterol. Hodgkins Lymphoma. Huntingtons Disease. Incest Survivors. Internet Addiction. Irritable Bowel Syndrome. Kidney Cancer, Disease and Dialysis. Learning Disability. Liver Cancer. Lung Cancer. Lyme Disease. Military Family. Multiple Sclerosis. Non Hodgkins Lymphoma. OCD and Misophonia Group. Online Dating. Ovarian Cancer.
Pancreatic Cancer. Panic Attack. Personality Disorder. Pet Loss. Plastic Surgery. Post Partum Depression. Premature Ovarian Failure. Prescription Drug. Prostate Cancer. Seasonal Affective Disorder. Self Esteem. Self Harm. Server Info. Sex Addiction. Sexual Abuse. Sexual Harassment, Harassment and Stalking. Shopping Addiction. Single Dads. Single Moms. Single Parents. Skin Cancer. Skin Picking. Sleep Apnea. You know yourself to be of one orientation, but your mind starts telling you that you secretly belong to another.
It follows the same rules as other forms of OCD of course. It has the obsession, an unwanted intrusive thought:. It is often underestimated how common a form of OCD this is. You may be afraid to call it OCD because in the throes of the obsession, it feels like that could just be an act of denial. Does this mean something? Along with HOCD often comes brutal self-esteem hits, depression, and social anxiety.
It can keep you from fully experiencing your romantic relationships, your friendships, and everything up to and including dreams. It may not seem like it, but all OCD is this way. Find Care. Find a Location.
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